Nyota Chooses Her Destiny
by Anon-ee-mouse
Summary: Spock!Prime has convinced Kirk and Spock it is destiny for them to be together. Spock breaks up with Nyota, but she is not happy...Will she accept HER destiny?
1. Nyota's Choice

**A/N: I actually like Spock and Kirk…but in the story I'm riffing off of Spock was self pitying and Kirk was kind of an ass (5 Times Nyota Refused to Be Saved) I tried to keep them consistent with that story.**

**Nyota's Choice**

M'Umbra listened as the comm rang the Enterprise, and her little girl, Nyota. No answer.

Five minute later she tried again.

And five minutes after that.

"Pick up girl," she muttered.

Finally, Nyota did pick up. M'Umbra felt her brows furrow and her eyes get hot. Nyota looked, terrible. She was pale from her months in space, and gaunt as well. Her eyes looked as though she had been crying.

"What is it, Mamma?" Nyota asked not looking at the screen, shoulders slightly hunched.

What had reduced her brilliant, proud daughter to this? She took a deep breath. Of course she knew - she had been young once. "What did he do, Nyota?"

She meant Spock of course. She knew of Spock, and his relationship with Nyota. She even knew of the other Spock, from the alternate timeline. As a member of Starfleet Intel M'Umbra had privy to this sort of information. They referred to the older Spock as Spock!Second.

Nyota took a deep breath, and then looked up at her. She started to talk slowly, told her about intercepting messages from Spock!Second, encouraging her lover, the younger Spock to break up with her to be with the Captain. How Spock!Second had described it as part of the universe righting itself...

The younger Spock and the Captain had followed his advice, seeing it as their destiny, and inescapable.

M'Umbra said nothing.

Then in a torrent Nyota told her about the events that befell her after that. Their apologies. Then Spock and the Captain considering having her transferred off ship. Apparently her daughter, though professionally fulfilling all her duties had not been as happy as she was before and they felt this was damaging to the morale of the bridge crew.

Nyota shrugged her shoulders when she confessed, "I used to sing on the bridge, Mamma. I don't anymore. I guess they noticed..."

Then she told M'Umbra about her show down with the older Spock. How she had told him she refused just to be a pretty face in the background in this universe - and then about the subsequent public miscarriage she'd experienced in the mess hall. Her feelings for the baby, or lack of feelings. About the Captain's anger for her lack of emotion. Of younger Spock's mourning that now she "hated everyone."

Nyota told M'Umbra how young Spock and the Capain had brought the old man, Spock!Second to sick bay, and he had tried to meld with her. M'Umbra bit down on the inside of her cheek at that to contain her anger.

At last Nyota finished softly. "I worked so hard to get here, Mamma. They want to send me away. I'm so angry...and I hurt so much..."

M'Umbra took a long breath. "Baby, do you want the hard truth, or do you just want me to be sympathetic?"

Nyota was quiet for a moment. Then she whispered, "The hard truth."

M'Umbra sighed. "Spock did not leave you for destiny. He left you either because he is in lust, or is in love with the Captain. In the end which doesn't matter much to you...

"What does matter is that if he is thinking that it is destiny he is out of his mind, as is the Captain."

Nyota opened her mouth.

M'Umbra continued. "Honey, there is more than one true love for everyone in this universe. Destiny...we are not handed destinies Nyota...we make them...

"The reason they want you to be happy is because they feel guilty, and your happiness will absolve their guilt. But of course you have reason to be unhappy, you are allowed to grieve the end of a relationship - that they can't give you that time and mental space says very bad things about them both..."

Nyota looked down.

M'Umbra continued slowly, "And baby, you probably won't be happy if you stay there now. If they had given you space initially...maybe...but they didn't. Honestly, their behavior at best speaks of horrible immaturity on their part...at worst…well this belief in some monumental destiny crap speaks of some severe personality disorders…

"You should take them up on their offer to transfer you."

Nyota looked up, her mouth opened. She scowled. "I worked my ass off for four years to get here and -"

M'Umbra raised her voice. She had to get through to he child. "You worked to be on the best ship in the fleet. The best bucket of bolts can't make up for a substandard Captain and First Officer. Kirk is too young - everyone in Intel knows it. He was promoted to Captain as a publicity stunt!

"And you've described your role on the Enterprise in the alternate timeline as a pretty face in the background! Do you want that to be your destiny in this universe, Nyota Uhura?"

Nyota looked dazed. "No, Mamma, I don't."

M'Umbra sighed. It was terrible to learn that something you'd worked for years at was something you ultimately didn't want. But it happened to everyone at some point in their lives.

"I've gotten other offers, Mamma..." Nyota said softly.

"Oh?" M'Umbra replied, not at all surprised. Her daughter was very good.

"Yes, from Number One, you know, Pike's old first mate - she has her own ship now. The U.S.S. Endeavor..."

M'Umbra smiled, "Number One - Catherine O'Neill!"

"She's good, Mamma?" Nyota asked.

"Good? At Intel we're calling her Catherine the Great!" M'Umbra licked her lips. "She recently intercepted a ship from the 1990's - there were some survivors of that super race they were creating in stasis ...One of them, a doctor Khan or some such came on board her ship and was revived..."

"Wow!" said Nyota, "That sounds fascinating! Have they briefed him about life during his time?"

"No, Number One killed him before they got the chance...she came into the medical bay while he was trying to kill her CMO...She was cleared of all charges though..."

"Oh," said Nyota. "There's a great research opportunity lost...but you said there were other survivors?"

"Still in stasis," M'Umbra said. "More than that I cannot say, it is classified."

Nyota looked thoughtful, she was tapping her finger. "So you say Number One is a good Captain."

"Honey, from what I hear, she is the best." M'Umbra said.

**/**

Kirk stared across his desk at Uhura.

"After all you put us through, now you want to transfer out?"

"On reflection, I understand your logic on the matter," she tipped her head in Spock's direction. "It is important that the bridge crew be a cohesive unit. I've made you uncomfortable, which I'm sure makes the crew uncomfortable...this hinders our ability to function as a team. It's for the best."

Kirk wasn't sure, but he thought he saw her bite back a smile. Her shoulders were straight; her eyes glittered like they hadn't in months.

"Nyota," Spock said from his left, "You do not have to do this."

She looked down at her hands for a moment. Kirk thought he saw tears in her eyes, just ever so slight. So the woman did have feelings after all - after the way she reacted to her miscarriage...the way she'd withdrawn from him and Spock.

Why hadn't she just been able to let bygones be bygones? Couldn't she see that the relationship with Spock was preordained? It was beyond her…or even them…

Maybe in the future, after the battle with Khan, Spock's subsequent death and after Kirk brought Spock back from the grave…maybe then she would understand.

Uhura looked up at Spock, "It's Lieutenant Uhura. And yes, yes, I do have to do this."

Kirk saw Spock straighten ever so slightly. "This is the finest ship in the fleet, Ny -Lieutenant. Are you sure you want to give it up. With time..."

"A ship is only as good as the crew that flies her, Sir."

Kirk sucked in a breath. She was either acknowledging her failure to keep smiling…or…that was a barb.

He couldn't say no to her. If she made any sort of fuss she could take it up with Starfleet, and mention his affair with his first officer – technically it wasn't illegal…but it was frowned upon. Greatly.

"Permission to transfer granted. Dismissed," Kirk said.

Spock let out a sharp breath.

"Thank you, Sir." Uhura nodded at them and took her leave. Before the door whooshed shut behind her Kirk thought he heard her singing.

**A/N:  
Not sure how many of the youngsters out there will get the Khan reference…**

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	2. The Unraveling

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters**

**The Unraveling**

Nyota was in her quarters. Her transfer was weeks away, he still had time.

He rang the door chime.

"Come in!" her voice sounded upbeat. He entered and let the door whoosh shut behind him.

Nyota was sitting on her bed not even looking at the door. He hadn't been in her quarters for months. It was striking how small they were compared to his and the captains. Not much larger than a horse stable really. No view of the stars.

Her body froze. Without turning around she said, "Commander Spock what do you want?"

"I am concerned that you are making a grievous career mistake, Nyota," he said.

"Please call me Lieutenant Uhura," she said.

He could not bring himself to do that. Instead he didn't use her name at all. He simply whispered, "This ship, this crew is destined for great things. You are meant to be a part of that."

She laughed softly. "No, Commander. That was another ship, and another crew in another universe that achieved great things. This ship and this crew's fates are not sealed yet." Then she added the final insult, "You're being illogical, Commander."

He charged on. He knew how much she wanted the Enterprise, how much she fought for it. Fought _him._ "This is Starfleets flagship, you worked too hard to give it up," Spock said.

She turned around slowly. For the first time since they broke up he saw tears in her eyes, although her cheeks stayed dry.. So different from the cockiness when she submitted her request for transfer. She wanted to stay after all...

"Why can't you just leave me alone?"

It wasn't the question he'd been expecting. Wasn't the answer obvious? "Because I...because I..." He wanted to say he cared. But words of emotion were so hard for him to articulate.

"Because you care about me?"

She knew him so well. He felt his body relax ever so minutely...

"If you cared about me you and Kirk would have left me alone! I fulfilled all of my professional obligations, you had no right to consider and transferring me...you had no right to demand I be happy!" Her eyes were wide, sparkled with tears that did not flow. Her chin was thrust forward.

"You're here, Commander Spock, and you want me to be happy because if I stay, if I smile, it will make you feel better.

"You hurt me Spock. Get over it and move on! Leave. Me. Alone."

"Nyota, it was never my intention to hurt you." It was only after he said the words that he realized he'd forgotten to use her title.

Her voice got soft. "Spock, do you know how hard it is for me to see you? It is so hard to be professional...and you wanted me to smile. Everyday I see you I am reminded of a future I believed was certain, a future that will never be. I see you with our Captain and I remember what it was like to be in his place.

She looked at her hands. "You never told me that you loved me. But you did tell me Vulcans mate for life..." She swallowed. "I guess you were just cultivating your options."

"Nyota, you were never just...an option, to be entertained and discarded when it no longer suited me..." She'd been his lover. Carried his child...for a while. Couldn't she see how much she meant to him?

"But I wasn't enough, Spock. You and Kirk may think it's destiny, but the truth is...you're just not that into me. If you had been no old man talking about destiny would have torn you away from my side."

He wondered if she was right. But it would be illogical to pursue something simply for emotional reasons. She was adequate as a lover. It had to be something bigger than that...

"But you blame destiny Spock. And actually, that is the real reason I'm leaving." She looked up at him. "You can't even face the truth about who you are or why you did what you did. You ascribe your actions to destiny instead...If you were simply gay, or found me boring I'd understand. But destiny...Destiny tends to bite the butt of people who believe destiny owes them favors. I'd rather not be under the command of two people like that."

He moved towards her. Unsure of what to say, and shaken too.

Just then the door whooshed open.

"Sorry, I'm late, Nyota..."

It was Nurse Chapel. In another life apparently he'd been her unrequited love. In this life...

Her hands went to her hips. "Should I leave, Nyota?"

She was looking directly at Spock. Her brows were drawn together.

"No, Christine, it's okay. Spock was just leaving."

Spock nodded at both women and made his way to the door. As he left he heard Nyota say, "Did you get accepted to med school?"

Christine squealed, "Yes! And Leo wants to transfer to be with me..."

Spock suddenly realized the universe he thought would exist was unraveling.


End file.
